Friday, April 13, 2012

The Ugly Blame Game

It comes all too naturally to us. We are confronted with something that we've done and immediately the blame game begins. Before the accusation is completely out of the mouth of your accuser, you're already forming your defense.

I say it comes naturally because blaming was Adam's first response in sin: "Have you eaten from the tree I commanded you not to eat?" The man said, "The WOMAN whom YOU gave to be with me, SHE gave to me and I ate." Genesis 3:11,12

Do you see it? Adam blamed Eve and God. It's her fault for giving it to me and it's Your fault, God, for giving her to me. Blame.

What does blame look like today? Well, it's not really that different. Listen to your children defend themselves - it's never their fault. They would never leave a toy out or forget to flush a toilet or not put their dishes in the sink - it must have been their sibling...

Move to the youth - the teacher is bad, everyone failed the test, the cop just doesn't like high schoolers, YOU are too demanding on them, I wasn't looking at that site - it must have been my sibling...

Move to young adults - my parents were too strict, alcohol abuse runs in my family, I'm ADHD, no one else has a job yet, no one is hiring, everyone wears their pants this low/is getting a tattoo/watches that television show, no one goes to church anymore - it's full of hypocrites...

Adults - I'm bipolar, I'm depressed (blaming a condition that they are not responsible for), no one ever taught me that, my parents were so neglectful that I can't be expected to (fill in the blank), my husband's not attentive enough, my children aren't obedient enough, there's not enough time in the day to read my Bible...

Seniors - No one ever did that for me, no one cares for me now, it's other women's turns to sit with the babies at church - I did my time, the worship leader is neglecting my needs, my children are just too busy for me, I'm too old/tired/lonely/worn out/overlooked/abused/medicated to help - and it's not my fault!

How do we get out of this terrible pit? Well, we have to humble ourselves. When we are confronted, we have to be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to answer. Humbly listen to the charges and wherever you can take responsibility, do it. Don't let your first response to be like Adam's - who is in the room I can point my finger at? Own your own sin and discard what is not your responsibility.

Recently there has been a blog hurricane of attacks on a pastor I respect in Seattle. Four years ago a man was dismissed from this pastor's staff. He has now decided to drag this man, his leadership and his church through the proverbial mud. I've read some of his drama and accusations, and although everything drips of religiosity and verbal humility, I don't see this man take any responsibility for his sin. Now, he's creating such a firestorm that I think he's doing more damage to his family and himself than he is to this pastor. The sad thing is that Christianity is once again made an object of mocking and ridicule because it's members can't play nicely together. It really has made me sad this week and has made me sober up about my blaming instincts.

Friends, we have to learn to stop blaming the world for our own sin, and just repent of it. If we were perfect, then Jesus' death was in vain. But we're not perfect, so guess what - when we're confronted with sin, it's just a reminder that we need Jesus, and praise the Lord - He saves!

Okay, rant done. Isn't that picture above really disturbing???

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