Monday, January 24, 2011

Husbands and Friends

"...and the wives must see to it that they respect their husbands." Eph. 5:33

Women love to talk.

There's no denying it.

Yesterday at church Dave finished up his Resolutions series with a charge to husbands and wives. He challenged us to change our perspective on marriage and see that marriage is not all about us and our happiness. It's all about Jesus. Marriage is a visible picture of Jesus and His love for the church, therefore our marriages should reflect His commitment to us, as well as ours to Him.

Dave went on to give specific instructions to wives and then to husbands, but my mind stayed on the wives part, particularly the "fan" instruction. You see, wives need to be their husband's biggest fan. Let me put it this way, gals, do you want someone else to cheer your husband on through life? Because if you don't do it, someone else will.

It seems so easy to be critical of those we're closest to. I think we appreciate the good in our family, but we only verbalize what needs to be improved. We think we're helping them be a better person, more responsible, more interesting, more well-rounded. But what happens is we become negative communicators and when only negativity is shared, the person receiving the criticism tends to find the mute button.

Gals, do you feel like your husband doesn't even listen to you anymore? Maybe he has you on mute.

But let's go one step further. One of the questions Dave asked was, Wives, how do you speak about your husband to your friends? This is a great question, maybe one you should ask your friends and see what they say.

We do love to talk, don't we? How do we speak of our husbands? I am not saying that we should lie and make up something nice. What I am saying is that if we are not complimentary of our husbands, if we aren't his biggest fan because we see great things in him, if we do not respect him, then we need to take a step back and look harder.

If God's word says that we are to take steps to respect our husband - we are to "see to it" that we respect him, this implies effort. Study your husband. Seek out his strengths. Appreciate the good he does and speak of that, rather than making fun of him and putting him down constantly.

Why do we speak negatively of our spouses? Do we think it will gain us some sympathy? Do we think it will make us look more like suffering saints?

I know why we do it - because we're sinners and so are they.

Big deal.

Make the choice to be obedient to God's instructions and see what happens. Be your husband's biggest fan, to him personally and to your friends. Put effort into studying him and knowing him and put a hold on the negativity.

Finally, don't do it so that you can be happy. Do it because as wives, we are to reflect the church's relationship to Jesus Christ. What sort of church would we be if we spoke harshly of Jesus on a regular basis?


  1. Great perspective. I've not heard it put quite like that before. Our small group is doing a study on marriage this year. I will remember this and use it both to remind myself, and to share with the ladies in our study.

  2. Kristen, only if more women would do this for their husbands because it's so true. I'm my husband's biggest fan!

    I have to share something funny. The other day Dave and I decided to take a little drive. We were using our GPS and "her" voice was getting really annoying. My husband said, "I bet her husband is hen-pecked." I nearly died laughing!

  3. Great Bibical advice for all of us.. We need to build up our guys, they in turn will be nurturing and loving to us, and that we can be examples to our chldren and honor our heavenly Father. Not only that but show the world what marriage is truly meant to be as God intended it to be