Monday, August 29, 2011

Momma Wisen Talk

This is my youngest, Christopher. We dropped him off at college this past weekend to begin his sophomore year. Yes, he is older than this picture, but there's a part of me that always thinks of him like this - big smile, button nose, innocent eyes.

The truth is...Christopher is under attack. All of our children are. It's hard to understand the great benefits that the internet brings to everyday life without addressing the great pitfalls, as well. As a biblical counselor, I have had a front row seat to lives that have been destroyed by pornography, and when I look at my own children, my mother's protective instinct comes roaring out.

So on our quiet little drive to college (he's only about 45 minutes from home), with his father following in a pick-up truck behind (with the couches that every college apartment needs), we had a Momma Wisen talk.

I am famous for these talks. The church high schoolers and college kids can attest to the fact that Momma Wisen talks typically don't avoid the awkward, but are very straightforward and blunt. They are coated with love, but sometimes they can be uncomfortable. But IMHO, life is too short to beat around the bush, so because I love the body of Christ, I sometimes need to have a Momma Wisen talk with someone.

Don't worry - I get the Papa Wisen talk here and there, so I am not without sin or accountability myself. I just have this tendency to mother the world and last Saturday, my son got a small dose of mothering. I mean, if I can't talk with him, who can I talk to?

Here was the gist of the talk:

Three truths about pornography use and college kids:
  1. If you don't look at pornography, you are in the minority
  2. You are not your roommates Holy Spirit, so you don't have to convict them of their sin, but you don't have to participate either - just walk away
  3. Don't let anyone use your computer
Three reasons to keep your eyes pure:
  1. For the love of your Savior - He knows what is best for you and warns all over scripture of the dangers of sexual impurity
  2. For the love of your future wife - pornography has an effect on marriage, even years before that marriage ever occurs. Don't believe me? Then you are fooling yourself...
  3. For the sake of future spiritual leadership and your personal well-being - it is amazing that choices we make as a youth can affect our lives years down the road. I tried to explain to him that the bondage of pornography will disqualify him for church leadership, it will be a millstone around his neck in the form of guilt and it is so addictive it makes heroine look like child's play
Christopher took it very well - we had a great talk, actually. He's growing up, and doesn't roll his eyes and try to change the subject anymore. He's choosing purity and is very aware of the dangers and the consequences. And I love that he's willing to talk about grown up issues - I'm very proud of him!

The Big Point: Parents - don't send your children to college with out having "the talk." Don't let them get back into the high school routine without that "talk" either. And you should probably have "the talk" to your middle schooler, as well. Don't take anything for granted and don't sugar coat the consequences of sin.

Our children are under attack and we have to engage in this battle on a regular basis.


  1. Awesome advice! A little scary to think about my middleschooler looking at that junk! But I guess it could happen at any time! Thank you for the awesome advice!

  2. Wonderful advice, if only more parents would have the "talk" to all of their children, I think it would change many broken lives.