Friday, November 18, 2016

Me + You = ?

It is not good for the man to be alone.  
I will make him a helper suitable for him.

Genesis 2:18

Everything in creation was good until God created man. Man alone was not good yet - he needed a helper and then it was good. Genesis 1 tells us that male and female are created in the image of God, so the creation of woman was not an afterthought, but rather with a primary and a secondary purpose. Primarily, as an image bearer, she was created to bring glory to her Creator.  Secondarily, she was created to make man good. Her role as a helper within marriage is one that brings completeness to man. Even perfect Adam needed help and Eve was created to provide that help.

Now, true completeness can only be found in Jesus Christ, but that doesn't negate the fact that within the context of marriage according to the creation account, ladies, we have a calling.  

David and I adopted our twins from Romania when they were six years old. We brought them home in March and the first morning in our home, they displayed their great displeasure that the three other children in the house were going to school and they were stuck home with mom. Because of the language barrier, with the help of my Romanian/English dictionary, I tried to explain that they had to visit a doctor first and then we could put them in school. Even the prospect of shots did not discourage my girls - they wanted to go to "gradanitza"!  

So I got them to the doctor and then took them to school. The kindergarten teacher was a sweet, elderly gal, who managed her classroom with ease learned from years of experience. But when my two powerhouse, non-english speaking daughters arrived, her world was crashing down, so to bring some stability to that kindergarten class, I attended school with the girls for their first 6 weeks.  

Initially I was there simply to watch my girls. I made them stand when the other children stood and sit when it was time to sit. I worked on alphabet puzzles and helped them color, made them sit still when they didn't understand the story the teacher was reading. Eventually they figured out how to follow instructions, but I stayed in the class. The teacher let me clean out shelves and organize closets. I helped the children with their lunches and cut out displays for her bulletin boards. I think when the six weeks were done, she was sad to see me leave. I was a helper to her.  And trust me, there was not a moment that I was in that class that I wasn't looking around, trying to find a way to make myself useful...helpful.

Is that the attitude you have towards your husband? According to Genesis, having you in your husband's life should make his life better. So if I were to ask your husband, "What does your wife bring to your marriage that makes your life better?", what would he say? Would it be a short list or would I have to finally interrupt him because it was time for me to go? There has to be a benefit to having you around, ladies, and I think that often we focus on what we need from our husbands and forget that we are the ones with the title "helper."

Just as we are called to be our husband's biggest fan, we are called to complete or finish our husbands - make them good. For each man, this is a different need. For some, they are forgetful and need you to keep them on time, on track and organized. For others, they struggle with numbers and they need an accountant. Still others can't remember a name to save their life. Some need clean clothes, a clean house and a good home cooked meal each day. Are you willing to meet those needs?

Oh, but Kristen, my husband is perfectly competent without me.  He doesn't need anything.  We have more of a partnership and we are equals in the home.  We share everything - our paychecks, our responsibilities and our decisions.  Good.  I am happy for you.  But may I remind you that I am not the one who said your husband needs a helper.  God said it and then He gave you to him.

So knock off the excuses, roll up your sleeves and make yourself useful.  Be his biggest fan and make him complete.  Fill in the places where he struggles, make your place in his life priceless.  Cheer him on and be on his team, so that he cannot imagine life without you. And in the hard times, when being his helper isn't glamorous or even appreciated, keep your eyes on Jesus, knowing that obedience to the Lord brings glory to our Creator and our Savior, and He is always worthy.  

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